"Um..."
"Uh..."
"Well, I guess...."
"I'm not really..."
"Say, that's a good question."
"I think da main purpose is ta show Me-owth wit da rest of the gang before the next key episode, which is episode 6."
"Oh good, maybe I'll finally get some action."
"You know James, taken out of context, what you just said could -"
"Let's just start the episode. ^_^;"
Role Reversal
by Leto
Episode 5: Clefairy and the Moon Stone
Jessie, James, Ekans and Meowth are walking on the path from Pewter City to Mount Moon. Well, Meowth was riding on Jessie's head. Much to her displeasure.
"Meeeowth," sighed the cat Pokemon, "this is one borin' Pokemon journey. I thought dese things was supposed ta be full of adventure and fun."
"Ekans ekans." (I've had more than enough of that, thanks.)
"You obviously weren't on it before," said James to Meowth, "we had attacking Beedrills, threats from the evil Team Omanyte, a barrage of angry Spearows and -"
"James, those aren't FUN things, unless you're a masochist."
James looked at her. "What's a masochist?"
"YOU, because you keep asking stupid questions," she snapped, hitting him over the head, as she always did when he asked stupid questions.
"Hey, what's dat?" asked Meowth, pricking up his ears.
"I don't hear anything."
The trio kept walking, and realised what it was.
"Ooooh, it's someone screaming," said James happily, "now we get to play hero!"
Jessie raised an eyebrow at him. "Play hero? That sounds remarkably goody-two-shoes."
"But, whoever it is might give us a reward if we -"
James didn't get to finish his sentence before Jessie, starry eyed, picked up Ekans and absolutely *ran* towards the screams.
***
"Aaaaah get off get off!"
A man was on the ground, covering his head in pain as he was divebombed by a coupla dozen Zubat, all squealing indignantly.
Jessie ran up and literally threw Ekans into the fray.
"Ekans!" squawked the snake - something unusual, as snakes rarely squawk - as all the Zubat focused their attention on it and started using a supersonic attack which only Ekans could hear.
"Alright," said Jessie, "go Butterfree! Confusion!"
Butterfree appeared, flashed brightly, and performed its attack. The Zubat reeled back, uncertainly. Jessie grabbed a handful of Pokeballs and started throwing them. One hit Ekans firmly on the head, and it was knocked unconscious (the confusion attack hadn't helped any). Before long, most of the Zubat were captured, and the rest flew squealing back into the cave.
"Umm, are you okay?" asked Jessie, picking up her snake. "And do you have lots of money?"
"Money?" asked the man, standing up painfully. "Who needs money when you've got... science!"
"Oh gad," said Jessie, eyes widening in horror. "He's delirious."
"I must thank you, my beautiful benefactor," said the man, bowing. "I'm Seymour the Scientist!"
"And I'm Jessie the Sane Human Being."
"I'm James, the Sidekick!"
"And I'm Meowth, da Antagonist."
"I was all alone without a friend, when those Zubat attacked like t'was no end. And then you came and rescued me, and I'm grateful eternally!"
Jessie cringed. "Don't try to be a poet. You're not quite the poetic type."
James broke in. "I, on the other hand... check out this one I wrote! I have a dog that's really cool, it doesn't bite it doesn't chew, I thought that one day, and in one way, I would be ready for it to, evolve and RIP THE LUNGS out of my OBNOXIOUS FAMILY BECAUSE how can I be expected to cope with such pressures as -"
"So what did you do to those Zubat to get them attacking you like that?" asked Jessie, deliberately cutting off James' weird poem/tangent.
"I didn't do anything... Zubat shouldn't be outside in the daytime. Something is really wrong. Come and see."
"Excuses, excuses," muttered Jessie, but they entered the cave.
***
"See," said Seymour, pointing, "some thoughtless creep has been setting lights up in this cave."
"Gee, what a tragedy," yawned Jessie. Ekans lay in her arms, still out of it.
"It's serious. All these Pokemon are getting confused! Have a look at that!"
He pointed to several not-terribly-happy Pokemon, lying in the dust, eyes wide open. Jessie cringed.
"Well, if you're so concerned," said James, "why don't you just turn OFF the lights?"
"I can't find the power source."
Jessie and James facefaulted. This proved painful for Meowth, as he was still sitting on Jessie's head.
"Well, why don'tcha FOLLOW DA POWER CABLE?!" snapped Meowth.
"Oh. Yeah."
"Why would anyone put lights in this cave here anyway?"
"I have reason to believe that they are searching for... the Moonstone!"
"What's that?"
"The Moonstone is an enormous boulder, a million years old, or even older. Here in this cave the meteor hides, but nobody has found the place of this legendary rock from space... we've studied its fragments for many an hour, and -"
"Ugh!" cried Jessie, "enough with the AWFUL poetry! Give us a straight answer."
"It can increase a Pokemon's power. The Moonstone came to earth long ago, a kind of meteoresque spaceship for the very first Pokemon to come to earth from the moon!"
Jessie and James glanced at each other, then burst out laughing.
Meowth fingered his charm and said nothing. He looked thoughtful. The charm glittered.
And then, there was an answering glitter from the darkness.
"What's dat?" muttered Meowth.
A cute pink Pokemon bounced up, a stone that it held in both paws glittering.
"Clefairy," it said.
"It looks like a Clefairy," said James.
"I CAN SEE THAT!"
"Excellent," said Jessie, "I'm gonna capture it!"
She grabbed a Pokeball and leaned back as if to throw it.
"NO!"
Seymour caught her arm in time. Jessie stared in disbelief as the Clefairy skipped around the corner and the opportunity was lost.
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" she roared.
"Sorry," said Seymour, "but the cave has already been disrupted too much. You should leave the remaining Pokemon in peace."
Jessie bowed. "Sorry."
"FAAAIRY!"
The group looked up in shock to hear a strangled cry coming from where the Clefairy had just disappeared.
Jessie took off, running in that direction, and saw the Clefairy cowering from...
"Team Omanyte!" said Jessie, "how did I guess. You're behind all this, I assume?"
"But of course."
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it double!"
Team Omanyte did their speech. When they finished, they saw that Jessie was examining her nails, Meowth was fast asleep, Ekans was still unconscious, James was plaiting the strands of hair that hung in his face, Clefairy was making rude gestures, and Seymour was looking mad.
"Call that poetry?" he said, "stop messing things up for these Pokemon!"
"Yeah, leave that Clefairy alone," agreed Jessie, "if I can't have it, I'm CERTAINLY not gonna let YOU have it!"
"Time to settle this," began Misty.
"With a Pokemon battle!" finished Brock.
The two tossed out Pokeballs, having Staryu and Geodude appear.
"Right," muttered Jessie, and threw out a Pokeball. "Let's go, Spearow!"
"Gooo, Zubat!" yelled Meowth, backing her up.
"Zubat?"
"I caught it just outside Mount Moon."
"I shoulda thought of that," sighed James.
The two stood in battling stance, before Jessie turned to Meowth again, in confusion.
"How could you have caught it? The Zubat flew away before we went inside!"
"Yeah, I snuck out after you went in."
"You couldn't have, you were here the whole time."
"Cats can be real sneaky, ya know."
"Maybe so, but you were sitting on my head! How could you have gone out to catch a Zubat?"
"Uh..."
"Meowth?"
"Um... look, over there!"
Jessie turned to look, and saw nought but a dark cave wall.
"What am I supposed to be -"
Meowth had disappeared.
"Figures," growled Jessie. "Okay James, take care of that."
"Zubat," said James, ordering Meowth's Pokemon instead, "go for the leech life!"
Zubat flapped its wings and hit him in the head instead.
"I said leech life! Get that Geodude!"
Zubat turned its head and ignored him.
Jessie went huge and a large vein bulged from her forehead.
"ZUBAT, OBEY HIM WILLYA?!"
Zubat cowered and nodded.
"Zubat," said James, "leech life!"
"Spearow, darling, peck 'em!"
"Staryu, water gun attack!"
"Geodude, tackle attack!"
It wasn't long before the disadvantaged duo fainted.
"Wonderful," growled James (Staryu and Geodude's attacks went down). "What will REALLY drive them off?"
"Quite simple," said Jessie, pulling out a dozen Pokeballs.
Misty and Brock recalled their Pokemon and ran screaming from a flapping swarm of Zubat.
After they were gone, Seymour turned to Jessie.
"I thought you couldn't have more than six Pokemon at a time."
Jessie blinked. "Don't confuse everyone! That rule hasn't been invented yet!"
"Oh yeah, sorry."
*pause for readers to stare at computer screen with puzzled expressions*
***
Jessie and her 'friends' were outside the cave as the sun set. Ekans, who had recovered somewhat, was chatting to Clefairy.
"Ekans ekans?"
"FAIRY!"
Ekans narrowed its eyes at whatever Clefairy had said, and bit the fairy hard.
"Clefairy fairy!"
Clefairy started slapping Ekans.
"Ekans makes friends so easily," said Jessie happily, calmly ignoring the fighting-dust-cloud in the background.
Meowth patted his Zubat and fed it a piece of food. The Zubat munched happily.
"MEOWTH!" squawked James, "where'd YOU come from?!"
"When dere's dinner on hand, Meowt' jumps on the band. Wagon."
Jessie buried her head in her hands. "Will everyone stop rhyming?"
"What's that food you're feeding Zubat, Meowth?"
"It's my specially formulated Pokemon food. I made a different recipe for each Pokemon. I'll make one fa... whatever your Pokemon are... James, if ya want."
"Oh, is it good?"
"Put it this way," said Meowth, "dere's no WAY I'd eat it myself."
"Let me try," said Seymour, popping a pellet into his mouth. He turned an interesting shade of orange and began to choke violently. James banged him on the back.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm CHOKING," replied Seymour, testily, still coughing hard.
"Hypocrite trainer," muttered Jessie, of Meowth.
Meowth pretended not to hear and stole some food off James' plate while he wasn't looking.
"Sssha!"
"FAIR!"
Jessie looked around to see a battered Ekans and Clefairy shouting at each other.
"What's the deal, Ekans?"
"Ekans ekans, ekanss," said Ekans. (Clefairy thinks it's better than me and wants to prove it.)
"YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN EKANS YOU STUPID PINK PUFFBALL!" shouted Jessie.
"Fairy," snorted Clefairy, sticking out its tongue.
"Okay, fine. I'd LOVE to see you prove it!"
Clefairy skipped off, and Jessie, scooping Ekans up in her arms as she took off, ran after it.
James, Meowth and Seymour looked at each other and sighed, before following at a normal pace.
***
"Clefairy fairy!"
Jessie and Ekans stood in the entrance to a huge cave, and stared in awe.
"Wow..." whispered Jessie. A huge meteor stood before them, glittering brilliantly, with dozens of Clefairy dancing around it. They giggled happily, pink faces bright with smiles.
"Ekansss," hissed Ekans, making a face. ("Sssaccharine.")
"Seymour said that moonstone increases a Pokemon's power," said Jessie, thoughtfully, "so let's go for it, Ekans!"
"Ekans ekans!"
Ekans nodded, eyes glittering greedily, and the two simultaneously pushed Clefairies of their way and carved a path through to the stone. Ekans was about to touch it, when a shout came.
"Hold it!"
"Prepare for trouble and make it double!"
Jessie sighed and turned to see Misty and Brock. She rolled her eyes and pushed back her hair irritably.
"Get lost, will you? And where'd the others go?"
Misty grinned. "We... took care of them."
Jessie raised an eyebrow.
"Okay okay. I have no idea where they are. It sounded scary though!"
"No it didn't," muttered Jessie, "geez, even *I* could be a better villain than you and I'm the good guy."
"Get out the way..." Brock started to bark an order at her, before noticing her brilliant blue eyes and just *melting*.
Misty groaned. "Brock... okay, I'll handle this. Hand over the moonstone, cement head!"
Jessie stared at them, eyes darkening. Then she laughed. "That's so stupid! How can I hand it over? This thing must weigh 50 tonnes!"
Misty and Brock facefaulted.
"Oh. Yeah. Well, get out the way and let us take it."
The Clefairies swarmed around, standing defensively in front of their moonstone.
"If those two villain wanna-bes are gonna play at being the good guy," mused Jessie, "I might just do some acting myself."
She stood in front of the Clefairies and yelled defiantly. "You will not take this moonstone from the Clefairies! Keep away, evil villains, for I WILL DEFEND THEM!"
She grinned, offside, and thought that she was pretty good at that.
"Pokemon battle," snapped Misty, "if I win, we get to take the moonstone."
"Hah, good luck taking it," said Jessie, "and can't you think of ANY resolutions to problems that DOESN'T involve a Pokemon battle?"
Misty pondered that for a minute, then shook her head.
"Okay. Go, Ekans!"
"Ekansss."
Ekans had no interest in defending the treasure of a rude Clefairy, but rather, wanted to show off in front of them.
"Brock? You have more advantages here. Teach her a lesson!"
"I... I'd rather she taught ME a lesson... heheh."
Misty groaned. "Letch. Fine. Misty calls... STARYU!"
"What a surprise," muttered Jessie, "so you only have one Pokemon?"
"Two Staryu," she replied. "Staryu, water gun!"
"Ekans, poison sting attack!"
The snake Pokemon dove at the starfish, slashing into its legs with a peppering of poison spikes. Staryu grunted "hyaa!" and retaliated by slapping one leg at Ekans and spitting water at it.
The force of Staryu's slap sent Ekans reeling back, and, predictably, it hit the moonstone. Hard.
"Ssha," it hissed, painfully, as a crack appeared in the moonstone behind it. The meteor glowed brightly as the Pokemon touched it. Ekans shook its head, blinked once or twice, and then seemed to think.
"More power..." muttered Jessie, "what does that MEAN..."
She sound found out. Ekans opened its mouth and let out a terrific screech.
Unfortunately, Staryu have no ears.
"Stupid moonstone!" scowled Jessie, "what an ineffective power-up!"
Impatiently, she kicked it. And then, she began to glow...
The Clefairies backed away from her, although they looked indignant that she would kick their sacred stone.
Ekans hissed with laughter. Misty thought that Jessie looked quite scary - although that wasn't to be said aloud of course. Brock thought that Jessie looked very cute when she was angry. Staryu squealed and dove back inside its Pokeball.
The entire cave lit up. Elsewhere in Mount Moon, every single light that had been strung up, simultaneously snapped off. Jessie, still glowing, laughed along with her Pokemon...
***
"I'm sure Jessie ran up this way," gasped James, exhausted after running uphill for fifteen minutes.
"I guess, dey took a detour... somewhere..." said Meowth, not out of breath at all, as HE had been riding on Seymour's head.
"JESSIEEEEE! WHERE DID YOU GO?!"
"I'm right here."
James jumped, as Jessie appeared right next to him.
"What happened?" asked Meowth, "what'd da Clefairies show ya?"
"An awesome new power," replied Jessie, eyes glittering dangerously.
"What, da location of da power source?" he replied, noticing that all the lights had gone off.
Jessie facefaulted. "Take me more seriously than THAT. Well, Seymour, our job here is done."
James and Meowth stared at her, jaws hanging. "Our job here is DONE?! What about our action? And we dun even know what happened!"
"Yeah come on, what was all that about?"
Jessie smirked and flipped her baseball cap backwards. "Ekans learned screech attack."
"More than that...?"
"Ekans ekanss," snarled the snake, annoyed that they didn't consider that worthy news.
"The moonstone is safe. The Clefairies are safe. I got to make a FLASHY exit. What else matters?"
Seymour hugged her close to him. "Oh thank you so much, you've done a great job, the one question is, where are the rob?bers."
"GET OFF ME, PERVERT!" she shouted, shoving him away. "Sick, twisted man."
He sweatdropped.
"And stop speaking in rhyme!"
***
Jessie, James and Meowth all walked along in the moonlight. Ekans was asleep on Jessie's head.
"Oh Jessie, pray tell, d'the battle go well?" asked James, grinning.
"Don't rhyme at me," she hissed.
"Sssshaa," muttered Ekans in its sleep. (Hissing is my job.)
"In helping Clefairy and saving the day, didja listen ta Seymour and keep right away?"
"Away from what, Meowth? And enough with the horrible poems!"
"He said not ta capture, another Pokemon for rapture."
"That didn't make any sense," observed James.
Jessie smiled to herself. What Seymour didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Or her. She patted her bulging pockets, filled with the essence of a handful of Clefairies...